


Över ett År

by goflecks



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mild Angst, Online Relationship, Smut, Sort Of, also there’s a couple wild kinks and by a couple i mean choking, ereri, this fic got so out of hand
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-29
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2019-05-30 07:08:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15091661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goflecks/pseuds/goflecks
Summary: Does it make Levi look lonely and boring that he texts numbers in bathrooms for entertainment?  Probably.  Does he do it anyways?  Regularly.  So maybe he was eventually bound to get a little more than he bargained for.





	Över ett År

**Author's Note:**

> this fic was meant to be a tiny oneshot and it somehow managed to get so unbelievably out of hand. i almost didn’t wanna finish it off but i also didn’t know how to drag the story out any longer and i didn’t wanna put it through the wringer ... but i LOVED IT and i’m sad to see it be over a mere 14k words later (whoops). i will definitely be writing more modern au’s and maybe even more online/texting-based relationships because i really like this dynamic.   
> (also i apologize for any resemblance this bears to other fics similar because there’s about a million and a half of them, as well as any typos that may have somehow escaped me despite like 5 read-throughs. i’m a mess)

“Text it.”

Levi furrows his eyebrows a little more than usual. “Wha- No! You text it if you’re that worried about it.”

“I texted the last one,” Erwin reminds, casting Levi a sidelong glance. The black-haired man clicks his tongue, turning his gaze back to the object of their conversation.

They both have their hands perched on their hips, staring at it. The written message on the bathroom wall next to the urinals; _text me if you like it rough xx_

Levi stares blankly at the number that sits below the invitation. “I have no memory of you having texted the last one. Like I said, if you’re so worried about it-“

“I’m not,” Erwin replies, neither of their gazes wavering from the wall. “I just think you might have a better knack for keeping the conversation going.”

“I would.”

Is it childish that this has been a game for them since they were young? Absolutely, Levi decides. The first instance he could remember was when they found a number on the inside of a slide at the playground. Levi had been the one to text it, hoping it would make his boring afternoon as a 14-year-old a bit more interesting, and it had. He and Erwin had laughed all the way through, despite the other end of the conversation being boring, and Levi had realized that not only was it a little exhilarating and freeing to text a random stranger with no consequences, but that he definitely had a biting wit that was enough to make himself laugh if no one else. So they just kept it going. If they spotted a number somewhere together, they would play hot potato with whom the person to initiate conversation should be, and even though they were both partial to Levi’s version of doing so, it usually panned out being pretty equal on both ends. Whether it was an inside joke at this point or simply a compulsion, he wasn’t exactly certain. But here they are, at the ripe old age of thirty-two, almost two fucking _decades_ later, and it’s the same.

“Fine,” he finally snaps, pulling up a new conversation and tapping the number into his phone. He knows the few drinks he has coursing through his system will make him a little more charismatic and make it all a little more fun, and he dips his head to signal for his friend to follow him back out the bathroom.

The stark contrast in the atmosphere is instant as they push the door open to slip back into the bar, that’s probably a little more on the spectrum of being a club but Levi really doesn’t like to admit to himself that he goes to clubs. Comes with some unwanted connotations. They take their seats again and he starts tapping out his message as Erwin orders them another round of drinks.

_You write your kinks on the wall at the bar often? ;)_

He’s pleased to see a blue bubble rise on the screen as he sends the message. It’s always a privilege to get to see when the stranger is typing during these chats. Plus he’s pretty sure Apple makes texts to other platforms the ugly green just to create an aversion to Android.

The text earns a read receipt almost immediately, earning an _ooh_ from Erwin over his shoulder.

_i don’t even know if you’re serious or not, but you’re literally the 5th person who’s texted me and i’m starting to get whiplash_

Levi thinks he can tell from the tone in the response what circumstance the stranger is under. He definitely got thrown under the bus by a drunken friend and god knows there’s nothing you can do about Sharpie.

_Dead serious. Can I commission you to come write on my walls? Your handwriting is a solid 8/10_

_that’s what you’re into? and here you are kink-shaming me_

Levi can’t help but let out a chortle. This is the best outcome; when the person behind the mystery number is actually funny. He once carried on conversation with one for close to a week before he got bored of them. He can already see the sparks of something similar forming.

Maybe the fact that as much excites him makes him look a little lonely but...well, he’s a thirty-two year old hanging out at the club ( _yes_ , the club) so it obviously wouldn’t be the first sign.

“He’s funny,” Erwin remarks, seconding Levi’s thoughts.

“We don’t know that it’s a he, per se...” he mutters, but they did find the number in the men’s restroom, so it’s probably a safe assumption.

_Your kink is soliciting texts from strangers in dirty bathrooms?_

_no, my kink is beating the shit out of my friends for doing it for me_ — Knew it.

_So you don’t actually like it rough?_

Levi takes a sip from his drink as he watches the typing bubble pop up, the dancing dots close to mesmerizing him, and he notes that he should probably order a glass of water next.

_not gonna lie, i do. but i wasn’t planning on advertising it_

Levi isn’t the only one that needs to be cut off, then. That or the recipient of his texts is just fucking bold as hell. Well, he supposes, that’s the fun of these conversations, isn’t it? Levi’s a stranger to this guy so obviously he has nothing to lose. And as mentioned before, likewise.

_Any other kinks you’d like to tell me about?_

Is this getting his rocks off? Yeah, maybe a little. Something about the anonymity and being able to imagine anyone he wants behind that screen. Plus, he’s too drunk. He wasn’t when he was in the bathroom but it had started creeping up on him after he sat down and began on another drink. 

“You guys gonna sext while you’re at it?” Erwin teases, also sounding a bit more slurred than before.

“Yeah, probably,” he replies casually, earning a snicker. “Who gives a fuck, honestly.”

His phone is just dimming as it buzzes again, lighting back up with a message on the screen.

_are you usually this nosy or is it the bar you’re in?_ Hah, so it _is_ a bar after all. _i’ll tell you another of mine if you tell me one of yours_

Fair enough. _Okay. I like having my hair pulled._

_what color is your hair?_

_Not part of the deal._

_just trying to get a mental image here_

Yeah, this person is definitely drunk, he decides. No one is like this _unless_ they’re drunk, Levi included.

_Fine, it’s black. Now your move, you brat._

_i like being choked. does that count? kinda falls under the blanket of liking it rough_

_I’ll take it, since I’m feeling nice._

The typing bubble pops up again, and it feels like it’s there for a painfully long time.

_well since we’re getting into it, full disclosure, i’m a dude, just so you know_

_I figured as much considering I got your number from the men’s restroom._

Another long pause while the other types.

_so did you actually not text me as a joke?_

_I did. I’m just drunk._

_yeah same_

Levi wonders if maybe he should leave the conversation at that; it seems to have lulled and he’s not one to put in extra effort to fan the embers of a text convo. But then his phone vibrates again.

_you’re the only one i bothered to text back though. all the others sounded way too into it_

_I don’t sound too into it by asking about your kinks?_

_nah, not really. i’m having fun_

_Well, I hate to curb it,_ he types, trying to shake Erwin off his arm, _but I need to stop texting and get an Uber. My ride just found someone he wants to go home with and I’m not trying to sit here and drink alone._

_gotcha. you probably need some sleep if you’re texting strange bathroom numbers_

Levi doesn’t feel like explaining his reasoning, especially because this guy’s probably right. _I can’t dispute that._ he sends, then he locks his phone.

———

The first thing Levi does is collapse onto his bed.

He closes his eyes, head reeling. How can you be dizzy when you can’t even see? He’s no novice at drinking but he just really didn’t feel like he’d had that much tonight. He honestly can’t remember, but clearly it was a bit.

He’d fallen asleep in his Uber which was uncharacteristic, but he supposes the fact that his phone died minutes after climbing in the car was more or less to blame. He leans over at this thought, fishing his phone out of his pocket to plug it into the charger. He can’t forget to text Erwin in a moment to make sure he got home alright, he notes. Dumb fucker. Driving to a bar in the first place.

He closes his eyes again, resting back atop his covers, and he’s almost asleep when the vibration of his phone jitters the bed, stirring him back into reality. Thank god for it, he thinks. He does _not_ want to wake up with his jeans glued to the back of his legs.

He leans over to press the home button, trying to focus his eyes. There’s a wall of texts from an unfamiliar number and for a second he’s so fucking confused...then he remembers the number in the bathroom and sits up a bit to figure out what the hell is going on.

_hey. sorry, i know you’re on your way home. i’m so drunk so maybe that’s why i’m telling you this._  
_but thank you for texting me. that sounds so stupid. you didn’t say much, i know._  
_but like_  
_reason i was at the bar was because i had a horrible day. like horrible. i’m going through a breakup, actually, and it’s like all the way over ... has been for a minute_  
_but i was really sad tonight and drinking didn’t even help and then you texted me and you made me laugh_  
_so you’re probably like wtf but it really did mean a lot to me ok. i hope you’re home safe_

_____ _

His eyes struggle against the sharp light of his phone as he types back. 

_Do you wanna talk about it?_

He sits up then with a groan. If he’s gonna be getting into this shit, he needs another drink.

He’s in the kitchen pouring himself some rum and Coke (no, he doesn’t drink straight whiskey okay, as much as he looks like he ought to) when he receives a message back.

_i will literally fucking bore you to death_

Levi sits down at the kitchen table, his glass in his hand. _If I die I die. Go ahead._

The long period of typing tells Levi he’s about to get what he asked for, and he’s not wrong. The texts send in succession, and Levi notes that he likes that about this persons texting style. It feels like a face-to-face conversation.

_i mean it’s nothing that serious, honestly not. we weren’t dating that long even_  
_it was just shy of 6 months_  
_i don’t think i loved him actually come to think of it_  
_well i did but i wasn’t in love with him you know_  
_anyways he cheated on me_  
_more than once i’m pretty sure but i only know of that once for a fact_  
_so i think that’s why i’m so hurt cause i’m like what did i do wrong ya know_

_____ _

_____ _

What is it about alcohol that makes Levi’s heart feel warm for everyone? He suddenly feels so protective over this dude that he doesn’t know the first thing about.

_Want me to beat his ass?_ Then he thinks, and continues.

_You didn’t do anything wrong, you know. A cheater’s a cheater, nothing you did made him do that._

_that’s what everybody keeps saying. i know they’re right. it’s just...ya know_

_Insulting._

_exactly. like thanks, i could’ve saved myself a lot of dick in my mouth._

Levi snickers into his glass as he takes another drink.

_That’s what it always feels like when relationships are over._

_you have a lot of experience?_

Levi thinks on that for a second. Does he? Not...not really. He’s had a total of two serious relationships, and a solid handful of one-night-stands. But he doesn’t want to lose his credibility so he answers in a roundabout way.

_Well, I’m 32, so take your pick._

_oh wow. i’m getting advice from an old wise guy_

_Shut up. Not old. People aren’t automatically old as soon as they turn 30 you twerp_

_you just called me a twerp so i’d definitely say you’re old_

_Fuck you. How old are you then, if you’re the shining example of youth?_

_i just turned 21 last month. so i am pretty youthful thanks, old man_

_I guarantee I’ve aged better than you already even with a decade on you._

_think so? send me a picture and prove it, i’ll zoom in on all your wrinkles_

Levi hesitates. Does he really want to break the façade? At least for himself there’s something engaging about knowing nothing about the person on the other end of the phone. He’d already pegged this guy as a week’s worth of entertainment so he didn’t want to scare him away too fast. But he wasn’t sure how to say no now, especially since after disclosing his age this kid was probably picturing him as an ugly middle-aged dad. So he decides to scroll through his camera roll until he finds a picture of himself that isn’t half bad; he’s sitting on the couch of a friend of a friend, beer in hand even though he hates it, flipping off the camera stoically. He’s not sure what he likes about the picture. Probably just a good angle boosted by the polaroid-esque lighting, and he likes that Erwin is grinning at his side, taking the attention off him a bit. He sends it before he can think about it any more.

_which one is you?_ The reply is quick.

_Which do you think is me?_

There’s a pause while the other clearly thinks, and Levi imagines he’s in the conversation zooming in on the photo and pondering.

_the blonde, for sure. other one looks way too young, and way too hot_

Levi snickers. _Wrong. Told you I aged well._

_ok damn, you weren’t lying. you fucking with me about being 32?_

_I don’t know why I would tell a lie that made myself look bad._

_fair enough_

_So do I get a picture of you or what? To prove that you look so much younger?_

He takes another sip of his drink, waiting for the photo to come in. But even though he’s staring at the thread anticipating it, he’s not fucking ready.

The photo is perhaps less carefully selected than Levi’s. It’s a tasteful mirror picture (snobby guys with technical degrees can say what they want about iPhones, the camera never disappoints), the boy close enough to said mirror that one can easily make out his facial features. He’s wearing a university hoodie and smiling a little, and it dawns on Levi that he may’ve taken it _just_ now—

_sorry it took so long, i had to take a good one. i’m literally drinking as we speak so i have like 4 where my eyes aren’t even open_

_Can I see those too?_

_if i can see a picture of what you look like right this second_

_No._ He feels like maybe he should elaborate. _I’m still drinking too and I don’t look nearly as cute drunk as you do._

He notices with a jolt that the illusion of complete anonymity has been broken, and takes another long swig of his drink as he comes to realize that it’s actually _better_ than his imagination. Maybe it’s completely just the drunk goggles. Who knows. But this dude, at the moment, is unbelievably attractive.

He takes another moment to study the photo again even as his phone vibrates with a new text, noticing now that he’s looking for it the flush of pink in the boyish, filled out cheeks. He definitely looks young for 21, and he maybe would’ve been skeptical if he hadn’t literally gotten the number he was texting from a bar. Yeah, he’s really cute. His frame is lithe and skinny but his shoulders are broad, and his hoodie is so big it swallows him up. Cute. Fucking cute.

He closes the photo to read the next message. _whatever. i’m sure you look just as sexy as you do in the first one. will you send me one tomorrow at least?_

What does he even want another for? _Sure, can’t promise it’ll be current though. Hungover me is even less hot than drunk me._

_good. i should go to bed maybe. i’m starting to feel a little nauseous_

_You should. Drink some water._ Inexperienced drinkers are so cute, and this guy is cute, and he’s pretty sure that makes Cute Squared.

_what should i save your contact as?_

Levi thinks for a moment, another joke on the tips of his thumbs but he decides against it. Mainly because he knows he won’t get to know the boy’s name if he doesn’t spit his own out.

_Levi._

_cool. i’m eren._

_Get some rest, Eren. Remember what I said about water._ Maybe his age does show. He’s acting like a fucking dad.

_i will. night levi_

_Night._

———

His head is fucking _pounding_.

Levi rolls over with a groan, reaching for the acetaminophen on his nightstand and only serving to knock it to the floor, the pills clattering around in the plastic bottle. “Son of a bitch.”

He heaves himself out of bed with a considerable amount of grumbling, scoops up the pill bottle in his hand and pads to the kitchen in his socked feet, practically hissing and closing the blinds. What fucking time is it?

He sets the pills on the counter and makes the round trip again, pulling his phone from the charger and shuffling back into the kitchen to set about taking his pills. Only noon. Not too bad considering how fucking late he ended up going to sleep. What was it? 6? 7? He didn’t even know.

He remembers texting that kid but the details of what exactly was said are a little hazy. Definitely a lot of flirting. He’ll probably look back on the messages and be completely embarrassed but right now he doesn’t even wanna look at a screen. His brain feels scrambled enough as it is. He’s pretty sure if he starts reading small text his eyeballs are gonna pop out of his head and try to get to lower ground. He plops down on the couch with a Gatorade, and apparently God is intent on testing him (and his eyeballs...stay.) because his phone lights up with a buzz just as soon as he sits down.

Eren. That’s right. They exchanged names at the end there.

_ready to send me that second picture?_

Levi starts typing back with a smirk. He swears for a second that the pain in his head dissipates but maybe it’s his body trying to shut down.

_Sure, if you can tell me what I get out of it._

It becomes daily routine. When Levi wakes up there’s a new text from Eren, sometimes just ‘good morning’ and sometimes a wall of text because something interesting happened before Levi had the chance to wake up. (He goes into work at eight in the morning so he spends a lot of time marveling at how quickly Eren’s day gets interesting.) If he doesn’t wake up to a text he sends one on his own, and receives one in response as soon as, he presumes, Eren wakes. They begin to learn things about one another. Levi learns that Eren is enrolled in college, as he suspected, and Eren learns that Levi is a software developer (Eren asks if that’s as fun as it sounds and Levi confirms that it is when he’s not busy wanting to blow his brains out). He learns that Eren works at Starbucks part-time which is somehow fitting and that ironically he doesn’t like hot coffee, only iced (hot drinks are too much like soup and he doesn’t like that either.). They find that they actually live within twenty minutes of one another which is unsurprising since they visited the same bar, but still. Levi realizes at some point throughout this that their conversations have lasted over a week, which is a new world record with a stranger from a wall, but he also notes that Eren is no longer a stranger, so perhaps in those terms their conversation as mere acquaintances lasted less than 12 hours. They still flirt, he thinks, but it’s not as unabashed, and Levi finds himself noting that he should just get wasted again so he’ll have an excuse to say things with the gall that he had that first night. Not that he really said all that much, but Levi’s pretty reserved as it is.

Still, he doesn’t need alcohol in order for pleasant conversation to flow.

_just got out of class. i think my brain melted. i don’t even have a joke to make about it that’s how bad it was_

_Was that three hours long? Is that legal?_

_it was 2 hours and 56 minutes. i counted_

Levi snickers as he reads the reply. He’s not usually interested in the mundane details of people’s lives. How long they were in class, what they had for breakfast, the movie they watched earlier. But somehow when Eren delivers the news he makes the most boring things full of color and Levi thinks people like that have to be so incredibly rare. Otherwise he wouldn’t have such boring people surrounding him.

His phone jitters again. _i did draw a picture though, wanna see it?_

_Whether I do or not you’ll send it anyways._

_tru tru. hold on_

Levi enlarges the picture as it comes in, frowning as he tries to figure out what the hell he’s looking at. It’s a photo of a laptop screen, the phone’s camera desperately trying to make out every pixel before it, but when he squints he can see that it’s a shoddy image made on Paint. It looks uncannily akin to something a kindergartener would make but it just gets worse as he studies it. A frowning person with straight black hair, angry looking eyes and skin that almost matches the white background. It’s—

_That is not what I look like._

_looks pretty spot on to me. besides, how would i know? i’ve never seen you in person. we haven’t even facetimed_

_I hate FaceTimeing. Something about a person in the camera staring at my chin while I scroll through my phone gives me the fucking heebie jeebies. It ought to freak you out too._

_you say a lot of old man stuff but that’s top on the list now i think_

_Fuck off. You say a lot of little boy stuff. I mean look at that drawing. It looks like you paid someone’s daycare kid to make it._

_wow, harsh, you should be more appreciative of people’s gifts. fine though, we’ll just have to meet in person sometime so i have a better reference for future drawings_

_Sure, we can meet, as long as you never draw a picture of me again._

_no promises. we’ll sort something out soon_

And then, one Saturday night — exactly two Saturdays after they had first spoke — an opportunity presents itself...or something.

Levi is a couple drinks in, and he’s alone, which makes it look as if he’s got some sort of problem, but it’s really not like that. He prefers drinking alone sometimes and just watching movies, relaxing and relishing the pleasant warmth that cloaks his body. Eren had mentioned something about partying with friends, and he hadn’t heard from him in a couple few hours, so when he feels his phone vibrate next to him he figures that’s who it is. He isn’t ready to peel his eyes away from the TV yet, he’s pretty engrossed in how Twizzlers are made, and he’s going to wait for the second alert from his phone that a text is waiting for him to respond. But then his phone vibrates again, and again, and he realizes with a glance that Eren’s _calling_ him, not sending him a million drunk texts at once.

Admittedly a bit of sick worry washes over him and he grabs the phone as quickly as he can, hoping to god everything is alright. Eren has never called him before and, damn, is he really that invested in the kid already?

“Eren?” He has trouble masking the concern in his voice, especially being that he’s a little tipsy.

“Hey, sorry.” Levi hears a very wet-sounding sniffle at the other end and it does nothing to ease his worry at all. “Wasn’t even sure you’d pick up.”

“Is everything okay, Eren?”

“Ah, yeah.” He’s definitely crying. His voice sounds stuffy and muffled. “I mean no, but like, I’m not hurt or nothing. I’m so fucking drunk.”

“I figured,” Levi replies. “What’s going on?”

“Ugh, I just...everything was fine, you know? I was like over it and happy again and I was just hanging out with my friends and then the dude — you know, the one who cheated on me — he just shows up at this party and I don’t know I think it’s just because I’m drunk but it just knocked me on my ass, you know?” Eren’s voice is so cute. So fitting, not exactly low but still smooth like honey even when he’s obviously in the middle of a breakdown. “I just wanna leave — I’m out here sitting on the steps of this house I’ve never been to before — but everybody’s drunk so I’m just like, fucking stuck. I wanted to call you because I knew talking to you would calm me down. Can you just tell me about your day or something?”

He could, Levi thinks, he’s absolutely willing, but first he makes an offer because what the hell, he’s just worried about the kid. Obviously. “Do you want me to come get you?

“I mean,” Levi continues, “it’s okay if not. I’m some strange older man that texted your number out of a bar bathroom so if you feel more comfortable just staying on the phone with me then I get it. But I can come get you out of there if you want out of there.”

God, does he know what it’s like to be drunk and upset and just wanting to go home. That accounted for like, half his twenties. But that’s a whole other can of worms.

“No no no, I don’t want you to go out of your way, I _definitely_ don’t wanna ruin your fucking Saturday night, dude — god now i feel like a huge fucking douche I’m just so fucking sad right now-“

“Do you want me to come get you?” he repeats, and his voice is so soft it surprises even himself.

There’s a long pause on the other line, and the only reason Levi knows Eren is still there is the sniffling and harsh breathing he can hear through the speaker. Then finally- “Y-yeah, yes, if you’re sure it’s okay. I’ll text you the address.”

Levi is there quicker than what it seems like he should be, even to himself, and he wonders if he was speeding or something just from being in the thick of it all. It doesn’t hit him until he rolls up to the curb and Eren stands up from the steps that _this_ is the first time he’s seeing him in person. Not really the way he expected it to happen, but he’s not exactly sure what the alternative would’ve been. Something a little more planned-out, maybe, though it seems their whole acquaintance thus far has been spontaneous and weird. And still, for some reason, it makes his stomach do a flip, even though he’s usually pretty composed.

He unlocks his doors for the boy to climb in and as he flops down in the passenger seat, a mess of tangled brown hair and floppy limbs, he looks extremely, well, post-breakdown.

“You okay?” Levi asks, leaning over to get a better look at him as he situates himself. Eren just gives a nod, and he takes that as a cue he doesn’t want to talk, so he nods back and puts the car in drive. 

He takes care not to speed this time — the last thing he needs right now is to get pulled over — but he can’t stop glancing at Eren out of the corner of his eye. Maybe he’s different in person than over text but he just seems so damn quiet in comparison to his usual talkative demeanor. 

Still, it’s Eren that breaks the silence, muttering a soft, “Hey.”

“Yeah?” Levi glances at him again, trying less than before to hide it.

“Could you uh... like, maybe take me back to your place, Levi?”

His hands tighten on the steering wheel and he draws a breath in through his nose. He really doesn’t wanna be a rebound. Really _really_ doesn’t want that, especially since he’s starting to develop such a protective attachment to Eren, one that he’s a little scared of. You know when you can just tell that if you let yourself, you’ll fucking fall head over heels for a person? All it takes is a little time with them and you know you’ll be fucked if you stick around? That’s how he feels about Eren, he wasn’t sure before, he hardly knows him, but having him sat in the car next to him just confirms it. In a situation like this he knows from experience that it’s better to keep his distance until, if and when, he knows for sure that things will pan out okay. Right now Eren seems, albeit well-intended and kind, emotionally unstable, and that’s never a good sign as far as romance goes. Sure, everybody has feelings, but he’s really going through a rough patch, and-

“I’m not trying to come onto you or anything,” he mumbles. His voice sounds so defeated, as if Levi has already said no, and he supposes that in a roundabout way, with his silence he may have. “I just...really don’t wanna be alone right now. I feel like shit and I don’t know, for some reason when I started crying all I could think was that I wanted to come crawling to you. Somehow you make everything go away.”

Okay. Yowch. This is the last thing Levi needs to hear right now while he’s at odds with himself. Not that it doesn’t create a swell of pride that he makes Eren happy, but...for fuck’s sake. He doesn’t really decide, he realizes, he just speaks.

“I’m at home drinking and watching How It’s Made. I can’t imagine how my old, boring ass doing that would make you feel better rather than worse, unless it’s due to comparison and the realization that your life sucks less than mine...but yeah, you’re welcome to join me.”

He thinks, out of the corner of his eye, that he can see a smile spread on Eren’s lips.

They’re silent the rest of the way home and getting out of the car, and Levi places a hand on the small of Eren’s back as he leads him into his apartment, half scared the boy is going to fall over and half just wanting to send him a signal that he’s here. He’s violently aware as he does it that it’s not helping the whole ‘no romance’ rule he’s made with himself along very well, but it’s just hard to resist touching Eren. He’s so fucking cute and...vulnerable right now. A bit sadistic that he finds vulnerability attractive? He doesn’t like to look at it that way. He views it as having a protective nature.

He plops back onto the couch and Eren follows suit, Levi reaching for the blanket that’s crumpled on the cushions and draping it over the both of them. There’s a respectable distance between the two of them and Levi isn’t sure if it’s comfortable or painfully the opposite, and he hesitates with the remote in his hand before unpausing Netflix.

“Do you wanna talk? I’ll listen.”

“Nah,” Eren replies, and he still looks so _fucked up_. Levi wonders idly just how much he had to drink. “I actually...I want to cuddle but I already told you that’s exactly what I didn’t come here to do.”

Levi eyes the boy carefully, sizing him up. He just looks so fucking _sad_ right now, his eyes have had this glazed over look in them ever since he picked him up, one he’s never seen in the pictures. He knows that he shouldn’t go there. He’s already fucked up on his own part bringing Eren back to his apartment, even if with the alternative of him being alone for the night, it seemed like the lesser of two evils. This is kind of the same, though. Hold Eren or let him look even more miserable. Fuck’s sake.

“Come here,” he surrenders, shifting so his body is on the furthermost part of the couch and Eren can slide in between his body and the cushions on the back of it. He reaches down to guide the boy’s head to his chest, lacing his fingers through his hair and letting out a soft breath. He doesn’t bother to replay his show; this is plenty enough entertainment for him right now.

“Are you not into me, Levi?” he asks, so soft it’s nearly a whisper.

The question surprises him a little bit, that Eren would ask it so plainly, but he doesn’t bother trying to feign ignorance. He knows Eren can sense his uncertainty. It’s not like he’s been discreet with it. “It’s not that,” he huffs. “I’m definitely into you.”

“Then why-“

Levi doesn’t let him finish, knowing what he’s getting at and not wanting Eren to entertain the thought any longer. “Look. From the moment we met, basically, you said I put you at ease and made you feel comforted and happy. I love that. I love being able to do that for you. I’m rarely very good at making people happy...in fact I’m kind of a dark cloud that casts over every room I walk into, no self deprecation intended. So the fact that I make your peppy, bubbly, talkative ass happy when you’re down is...it’s nice.” He pauses. “But...no offense Eren, you’re kind of an emotional wreck right now. I just don’t want you confusing liking my company with having romantic feelings for me. That’s how people get hurt. Both of us.”

Eren’s quiet for a minute and Levi wonders with a pang if maybe he’s hurt his feelings. Maybe he shouldn’t have been so brutally fucking honest... But then he feels Eren nod against his chest, snuggling a little closer. “I understand. You’re looking out for yourself. I’ll be careful. We’ll take things slow.”

Even that promise signifies to Levi that he’s in way deeper than he should’ve let himself get, but he supposes that was in effect the moment he picked up a drunk and crying Eren from a unfamiliar house downtown. He was already in deep, come to think of it. He’s usually so good at _not_ letting that happen, but it’s Eren, it’s just Eren, something about him. He realizes he’s diverging from his own plan, _again_ when he speaks, but he does it anyways.

“Everything you say is just so...I just wanna kiss you so fucking bad right now.”

Eren lifts his head up from where its laying, and he doesn’t question the back-and-forth fight between Levi’s behavior. It’s like he just _gets it_. Their eyes meet and Levi takes the opportunity to stare, to study the little flecks of blue in his wide, green eyes, and he would’ve been sad about his gaze being torn away if it weren’t in favor of Eren’s lips pressing against his own, soft and warm and hesitant. 

Without even thinking he reaches up to wrap a strong arm around Eren’s back, feeling the shape of his body through his sweatshirt. The kisses are soft and slow, each press of Eren’s lips lingering on his own, and god damn it if he wasn’t already far gone before now, he knows he’s well and truly fucked. Eren has him wrapped around his finger and now all he can do is just fucking trust him, which is terrifying.

He sighs as Eren’s tongue runs along his lower lip, letting him lead the kiss as the motions get wetter and heavier. He already knows he’s getting hard but that’s not a matter he wants to touch on right now, so he focuses all his energy into kissing Eren, sliding their tongues together and breathing into his mouth. Eren breaks away slowly, prompting a little ‘nngh’ from Levi at the loss.

“I just wanna do this forever,” Eren mumbles, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Just lay here and make out with you, and talk about everything. You smell so good, did I mention that? I wanna be this close to you always.”

He knows Eren’s just blubbering, but the heartfelt words put him at ease, like maybe he and Eren really _are_ on the same page here. He lets out a little hum and reaches again to press the boy’s soft lips against his own.

 

It’s daylight when he opens his eyes, and when he lifts his head up a bit he realizes he has the worst kink in his neck he can ever remember having. The kind where you can barely turn your head without wanting to fucking die. _Fuck_. Eren stirs a bit on his chest but doesn’t seem to wake up, and Levi tightens his arm around him affectionately. He’s not sure when exactly they fell asleep. He just remembers soft whispers and kisses and hands roaming gently, mapping out one another’s bodies for the first time. It hadn’t gone any further than that, which comes as another reassurance to Levi, even though sex wasn’t what he’d been afraid of. It’s just comforting that Eren is content to lay and kiss and just exist in one another’s company.

He shifts his weight a bit and this time Eren’s eyes do flutter open. His heart jumps and tere’s a moment where neither of them say a thing. Levi stares into sleepy green eyes and Eren stares into stark grey ones. The dark-haired man’s expression is unwavering as Eren’s learning to expect it to be, but he thinks he can detect a hint of a smile on his lips. Maybe.

“Good morning,” Eren mutters. Suddenly this situation is scary, something he’s not quite sure how to navigate. Texting was easy. You can say whatever you want, edit it, go back and delete it all if you feel like it sounds weird, and sending risky lines never left him having to study Levi’s expression. He just got a reply and that was it. No room to overthink it. Last night was easy too; he was drunk and emotionally exhausted and caution had been thrown to the wind. Talking to Levi was easy. Kissing him was easy. Clinging to his body as he fell asleep was easy. Now that he’s here, rested up, sober, his view on the world a little clearer, there’s just too many thoughts racing and he doesn’t know what to do.

He wonders fleetingly if he ruined a good thing. Closed a gap too soon.

“Morning,” Levi replies, and his voice is groggy, even deeper than his usual tone. It’s...okay, it’s fucking sexy.

There’s a silence between them for a moment as Levi considers their position. Eren was drunk last night. He may regret it all now and not exactly know how to navigate it. And being sober himself, Levi’s not sure he has it in him to start a conversation about that; doesn’t know what he would say or how he’d say it, doesn’t know how he’d react if his fears are confirmed. There’s too many variables right now, and he’s not even awake yet. So maybe it’s best to just...give himself and Eren an out. Take a breather.

“Did you text your friends last night?” he asks finally. “Do they know where you are?”

Eren shakes his head sheepishly, realizing he hadn’t, and now he’s absolutely dreading looking at his phone. It’s genuinely likely Mikasa put in a Missing Persons Report.

“I should get you home then,” Levi decides, giving Eren’s waist one last quick squeeze before letting go. “They’re probably shitting themselves.”

“That’s probably an understatement,” Eren affirms, peeling himself off of Levi. He’s all sweaty, which he notes probably doesn’t give him any Cute Points.

“Call them,” Levi urges as their bodies separate enough for him to stumble off the couch. “I’ll go make myself look like I didn’t just come out of a sewer and then we can go. There’s a bathroom down the hall if you need it.”

Two bathroom apartment? Levi lives a luxurious life.

It seems too soon yet not soon enough that they’re in the car outside Eren’s apartment complex. It’s not that the boy regrets anything because he...he really doesn’t think he does. It’s just that he’s really overwhelmed and so much has happened so fast that he kind of feels like he has whiplash. All his other relationships have been a little more conventional. Dates, romantic interest, entering things knowingly. He’s never really kindled something with someone by going to their house drunk in the middle of an emotional trainwreck, and he wonders if maybe it’s because Levi is older. Maybe this is how things actually happen when you’re not in college. Who fucking knows.

There is one thing that he knows he can bring himself to say though, so he turns to Levi and earns a gaze back, taking a deep breath. “Thank you,” he says softly. “You really didn’t have to do all this. I know I’ve probably made myself look like some dumb fucking kid and I’m sorry to dump all this shit on you. But I really appreciate it.”

Levi’s quiet for a second, and it almost looks like he’s studying him. “You don’t look dumb. You’re human. You had a bad night. I’m glad I could be there for you instead of things getting worse.”

Eren smiles, glancing down. What Levi said about not confusing feeling comforted with having romantic feelings returns to his mind, so he decides maybe it’s best not to kiss him. Instead he reaches over to squeeze his arm, feeling the defined muscle under his fingers.

“Bye. I’ll text you.”

And then he’s hopping out of the car and all Levi can do is drive.

He doesn’t go home. He takes a left turn out of Eren’s complex and just hits his gas, aimlessly exploring the city and silently staring at the road before him. He can’t remember the last time someone got to him this much. There’s so many emotions fighting in his brain that he’s not even sure what he’s feeling, and that in itself scares him, because at this point in his life he usually has a pretty good handle on his emotions. He’s in his _thirties_ for fuck’s sake, and here he is feeling all weak-kneed and google-eyed over a college student. A funny, kind, emotionally taxed college student with bright eyes and a huge smile who...he really fucking likes. Levi really, really likes Eren and he doesn’t know why or how because they’ve only known each other for like two fucking weeks but he does. It feels weird to admit it, even in his own head, even though he really already knew. And he can still remember how it felt to have Eren’s soft lips on his own, how he had woken up next to him and had just wanted to hold him as tight to his chest as he could and keep him there forever.

Why’s he so scared, he wonders for a moment, but then he realizes it’s because he really thought he was _fine_ without this sort of thing. Sex is a part of his life, sure. He has a booty call or two, he meets people at the bar every now and again in a drunken stupor but for the most part he’s content with just being alone. He has friends to keep him company, he has people in his life. He had kind of decided that he was one of those people who didn’t need a partner and he was cool with that. He likes his privacy.

And then Eren came along and now he’s questioning all of it, his literal life decisions, in his car while he drives around campus. What the fuck.

He runs a hand through his hair, trying to find a road he knows will get him where he needs to be. He’s in so over his head right now.

 

When he gets home he already has a text from Eren. He’s almost scared to look at it but can’t check it soon enough at the same time, and he sits down on the couch that he had shared with the boy, his stomach sinking a little at the realization that it now feels empty.

_so, about last night..._

Levi’s not sure how to take that. It could go in either direction really, and since Eren’s the one who’s started the conversation he thinks it’s best to let him lead it.

_About it..._

_did you mean what you said?_ Did he mean what? _about how you like me but you’re just scared i’m confused and all that?_

_I don’t think you’re confused...I know you’re capable of understanding what you feel._ He’s way, way too sober for this conversation but he thinks that day-drinking at like two on a Sunday might actually send him crossing over into ‘has a problem’ territory.

_so you trust that i’m sure about what i feel?_

_If you believe that you are._

The typing bubble pops up and wiggles for far too long, even though Levi thinks he can tell where this conversation is headed. His heart is thumping so hard that he can hear it in his ears.

_i have feelings for you, levi. i’m still working out the kinks but i know for sure that i do. and i kinda get the notion that you’ve been hurt or something. i get that. i won’t try and understand because i know i’m naïve but i get it. and i want you to know that if because of that you don’t wanna pursue this any further then that’s fine. i’m not gonna be mad at you and i won’t wanna quit talking. we can still be friends how we are. but i do have feelings so i wanted to get that out in the open. it’s not about how you make me feel. it’s just about YOU_

Levi toys with his lip, staring at the wall of text. What is it about Eren being like, emotionally mature and intellectual that makes him want to make out with him? Probably because he’s as crazy about his _mind_ as he is his face, which is the most cliché thought Levi thinks he’s ever entertained.

He thinks a bit as his thumbs hover over the keyboard. Eren is being seriously real with him. Kind of spilling his heart to him right now, and Levi doesn’t want to disappoint him. So he tries his best.

_You’re right, I have reason to be cautious._ He’ll elaborate on that later, he thinks. _But I have feelings too. It happened super fast, for me. So I’m a bit freaked out. But I want to pursue something if you do. As long as you’re sure._. 

He thinks a little and sends another text before Eren has a chance to respond. _I just don’t want to take advantage of the fact that you’re going through a rough patch. I guess I’m worried about that too._

_i respect that. let’s take it slow_

Levi thinks he can handle that.

———

“So if you’re so into him why don’t you just go for it?” Hanji asks, pulling their spoon of frozen yogurt between their lips.

Levi eyes his friend, not quite sure how to respond to that because he isn’t totally convinced he has a good answer.

Hanji is the only person Levi is truly able to open up to. Sure, he can talk to Erwin about his life, but Hanji has a certain childlike curiosity when it comes to his personal business that alludes that they view it as entertaining and exciting. It’s not dehumanizing; it’s comforting. He knows Hanji cares, but the fact that they ask about his business purely because they love a good story makes him feel less like he’s being pried at.

Not that he intentionally came to Hanji for advice. The two had agreed to meet up for a froyo date because _it felt like it had been foreverrrrrr since they last went on a date_ (Hanji’s words), and they had just been able to tell that something was nagging at Levi. They always could. Maybe that’s why it’d been so long since they last hung out, because the man knew this conversation was going to be inevitable.

He prods at his cup of froyo, eating a bite slowly. It’s been over a month now since he and Eren started talking, and their relationship was growing steadily. He was starting to learn about Eren’s life and his family, and Eren was learning about Levi’s (lack thereof). He realizes that perhaps there’s now _two_ people he can open up to, but obviously he can’t open up to Eren about this particular topic.

“You’re scared,” Hanji observes, pointing their spoon at Levi. He simply nods, shrugging his shoulders. Yeah, he’s scared, but that’s all the information he really has.

“You like him too much,” they continue, trying to piece it together. “You’ve told me yourself that you’re fine with being alone and now this situation has come along that’s thrown your whole plan for a loop. I get it!”

Hanji isn’t wrong. Though Levi and Eren have grown closer over the past few weeks, neither of them have made a move to further their relationship past a blooming and flirty friendship. Eren is waiting for Levi to make the first move — he knows this. But somehow he just hasn’t found it in him to do that yet. Every time Eren sends him a photo of himself, with those bright eyes and full cheeks and smile that’s so sweet it’s bordering on addictive, Levi wants so badly to make the conversation about the two of them. He gets this yearning desire in the pit of his chest to hold Eren close as he had that night but he always decides against against voicing it. Instead he just gushes over how cute Eren is, saves the photo, and argues until he’s convinced by the boy to send one in return. He’s willing to send current ones now — not filtering through his collection to find the ones that reflect on him best — and he knows it’s a sign he’s getting more comfortable with Eren. He hasn’t lost the boy’s attention yet but he still hesitates to make a real move.

“You’re probably hurting his feelings,” Hanji muses, scraping the bottom of their bowl. This causes Levi’s eyes to waver, his cold stare softening a bit.

“You...you think that?”

“I mean, probably.” They shrug. “My feelings would be hurt. From what you told me he’s pretty emotionally adept, and he’s nice, so he’s not gonna tell you. But I’m sure he feels wounded that it’s taking this long. Taking things slow and leaving him high and dry are two different things.”

“You need to get a filter on that thing,” Levi grumbles, gesturing towards Hanji’s mouth.

“Sto-ooop, I’m just trying to help, _seriously_. I think you need to give him something. You just need to stop being a chicken and put your trust in him. Sure, you might get hurt, but do you think Eren would hurt you?”

Levi thinks for a second, then just mutters out, “No, not really.” Though he struggles to definitively say that _anyone_ wouldn’t hurt him with full certainty. That’s just how things are and how people work.

“Just make a move,” Hanji decides, resting their chin on their hand and watching Levi. “You want him so stop hesitating. Live a little! You’re not getting any younger!”

“Low blow,” Levi growls, but Hanji is right, and he knows that. He really fucking hates the thought of throwing caution to the wind, but does making a move to be involved with a person he’s been talking to for over a month really even qualify as that? He just...needs to stop pussyfooting around and go for it.

 

He hasn’t had a drink at all when he sits down to text Eren, thumbs hovering above the keys. He’s only just gotten home from being with Hanji and he doesn’t want to waste time downing a couple in order to talk about his feelings the slightest bit. He realizes with annoyance that if he’s going to try doing this, for the first time in years, he’s gonna have to learn how to talk about shit sober. At least to an extent.

He thinks. And thinks and thinks. And then he decides that thinking is the opposite of what he should do because that’s all he’s been doing this whole time, so he just types out a message and sends it without reading it.

_Hey. What are you up to tonight?_

The text back is nearly instant, as it always is.

_idk, i had some pretty big plans of sitting on my couch eating cheetos and watching house hunters but they’re tentative if need be_

Levi smiles slightly at his phone. The kid always just...puts him at ease. Or as much as he can be right now, cause he’s feeling a little clammy.

_Well if you’re willing to rearrange your schedule, would you be up for dinner tonight?_

Levi knows he isn’t going to get a negative answer, but it still makes his heart leap a little when he gets the reply. _yeah i think i can pull some strings ... as long as my cheetos can come with me_

_Three’s a crowd but I guess if those are your conditions. How long do you need to get ready?_

_as long as it takes you to drive here_

Well...that’s fucking cute.

Apparently Eren was exaggerating a bit, because when Levi pulls up and shoots him a text he insists he’s _almost_ ready. He wonders as he sits in the idling car if he should take the boy somewhere fancy or not fancy, or something somewhere in between, and kicks himself for not deciding before. He already predicts he’ll have Eren decide, and wonders why the hell he’s got a decade on this guy yet isn’t even close to being the one calling the shots. Levi’s usually got complete control of every situation, but it’s like Eren has a talent for softly prying the reigns from his hands before he can even tell what’s happening. Not in a bad way though. He’s not sure anything Eren’s ever done towards him has been anything but enjoyable. He’s just really in some uncharted territory right now.

He’s jolted from his thoughts as his car door opens, and Eren plops down in the seat next to him. “Hey!” he says brightly, and Levi snickers a little.

“What?” Eren accuses, crossing his arms, and it would almost appear he was actually angry if Levi wasn’t so acquainted with the boy’s sense of humor. “Barely been here for 30 seconds and you’re already laughing at me?”

“You’re like a cartoon character,” Levi teases. “You’re always wearing the same thing.”

“Tch...” Eren looks down at his grey hoodie and realizes he can’t even argue. “Look, I came here for some food, not a hard call out. Put this thing in drive before I start making fun of you back.”

Levi laughs for real this time, something he doesn’t do too horribly often, and he does as he’s told, pulling away from the curb.

“So about food, what sounds good to you? I haven’t really decided. Are you thinking like, burgers, or Italian maybe?”

“Mexican,” Eren says slyly, and Levi shoots him a glare because the kid knows _damn_ well he’s lactose intolerant. As if he doesn’t mention his suffering enough.

“Sure, if you wanna spend our dinner outside the bathroom door while I eat my food on the fucking toilet. Next suggestion.”

“Well...” Eren hums, staring at the dashboard as he considers it. “I was actually thinking like, maybe...takeout?”

He’s pushing the envelope, Levi notes. Trying to make the evening a bit more intimate than just going out to eat. Hanji’s advice flutters back into his mind and seeps over the nervousness he’s feeling at the thought. _You want him, so stop hesitating!_. Hanji is right, as they always are.

“Sure,” he agrees, and he almost thinks he can _feel_ Eren glowing at his answer, which makes him wonder what he’d been missing out on this whole time. “Chinese sound good?”

The younger nods, smiling.

By the time they’ve got their food spread out on Levi’s coffee table, the man is a hundred percent sure he’s been missing out on a lot. This is the first time they’ve ever hung out sober and there are so many good things he didn’t notice before. Eren’s loud and contagious laugh, his endearingly clumsy movements, the way his wit is always back to match Levi’s (which is definitely no small feat). He constantly has the older man laughing, which he can hardly say for _anyone_ , but their sense of humor is just so alike. He gets some documentary from his watch list going for background noise but it’s like they hardly needed it. Conversation just comes easy for them and Eren always has something to say to fill the gaps.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Hm?” Levi looks up at Eren as he slurps his noodles, affirming with his eyes for him to continue.

“What made you text me that night, exactly? Like what was going through your head?”

Levi fishes his chopsticks into the little box, shrugging. “It’s just something I do with Erwin. We always text random numbers we find in bathroom stalls and shit. Usually I’m more entertained by myself than the person I’m messaging.”

Eren bites into a crab rangoon and Levi watches jealously, kind of considering it and trying to think where his Kaopectate is.

“I’m glad you did,” he says boldly, but Levi knows it’s taking a bit of effort from the way the boy avoids his gaze. “I honestly don’t know what I would be doing right now if I hadn’t met you. Bert has asked me to get back with him so many times. You like...kept me strong or something like that.”

Levi can feel the heat on his ears and hopes to god it doesn’t spread to his face. “I can’t believe you dated a guy named fucking Bert anyways. First mistake right there.”

Eren laughs, smacking Levi’s hand away as he tries to reach for a rangoon. “You’re completely right. Yours is so much nicer. Rolls off the tongue better.”

“How did you even take yourself seriously saying his name in bed?” 

“I didn’t,” Eren says, and when Levi chuckles his eyes widen and he shakes his head lightly. “No I’m dead serious. I didn’t say it. Ever. He never asked me to and I was so fucking relieved. I think when your name is Bert you kinda just know not to cross into that territory.”

Levi’s laughter grows, and it’s heartier than before, the hand that isn’t holding his chopsticks rising to loosely shield his mouth what with there still being food in it. “That’s...that’s fucking awful. It’s a good thing that relationship didn’t get any further than what it did.”

“Yeah,” Eren clicks his tongue, capturing another cluster of noodles. “I wouldn’t be sitting here if it did.”

Levi glances at the boy as he takes another bite of noodles. “That would be a damn shame.”

“No kidding,” Eren agrees, pushing his empty takeout box aside. Did he even _taste_ it? He sits back on the couch, eyes focusing on the TV for a moment as he listens to a narrator drone about super-volcanoes. There’s a moment of comfortable silence as Levi forgets his noodles in favor of staring at the boy’s side profile, his soft lips and his perpetually mussed-up hair. He’s so fucking pretty. He’s sure Eren can feel him staring at him, but he doesn’t look up from the TV and Levi half wonders if he’s just letting him have his fun. Or maybe waiting for him to say something.

“I mean...” Levi kicks back off on the subject they were on. “If you weren’t here I wouldn’t get to look at your face. And I would be pissed off about that.”

Eren turns to look at him, a small smile on his lips. It’s mischievous rather than sweet and it makes Levi’s stomach lurch. “Yeah? You planning on just staring at me all night?”

Levi scoffs. “I could. There’s nothing stopping me.”

“I could stop you.”

“Try it.”

Levi knows what’s about to happen, but his heart still bursts in his chest when Eren shifts on the couch and leans over to connect their lips. He can taste the crab rangoon which ticks him off a little bit but he’s quickly distracted as Eren reaches up and curls a hand around the neck of his shirt.

“Fucking caveman, gonna stretch the seam out,” he mutters against the boy’s lips, but he doesn’t pull his hands away and lets Eren press his lips to his again, harder and with more purpose. Eren smells good, like cologne and fragrant shampoo, and he reaches down to grab his waist and pull him closer, working their mouths together softly. Eren sighs against his lips and it’s like he melts into him, letting Levi take the lead, which he’s glad to do for once.

He nibbles the other’s lower lip softly, taking the opportunity as he parts his lips to run his tongue along his. Eren quickly returns the favor, brushing their tongues together and kissing him fervently, hot and open-mouthed. He can feel the thrum of blood pumping in his ears and he pulls Eren closer yet so they’re chest to chest. He feels so warm in his arms, and somehow small even though Levi is visibly the shorter of the two. Like he’s curling up and just submitting himself to Levi’s touch. It’s so endearing.

Levi finds himself pushing Eren back against the cushions and crawling atop him, hardly breaking the kiss throughout. He reaches down to place his palm against the boy’s soft cheek as their kisses only deepen, both of them making breathing softly against one another’s mouths.

“You know,” Eren mutters, “I don’t think it counts as sex on the first date since we’ve technically already had one.”

Levi chuckles against his mouth, kissing him again. “You have low standards for dates or something? I’m not sure sitting drunk in my living room counts.”

“If you kiss it’s a date,” Eren replies.

“That’s wildly untrue.”

Still he dips down and continues kissing him, the hand on his cheek ghosting down to rest on his torso, thumb stroking little circles against the fabric of his hoodie. Maybe it’s the soft breathy sounds Eren’s making against his mouth or the way he can feel the head radiating off of him, but suddenly he’s just like, _fuck it_ and stops caring.

He moves down to press a soft kiss against the boy’s jaw, feeling the sharpness of it against his mouth, and Eren sighs, tilting his head back to make more room. He trails his mouth downwards, leaving the tiniest of kisses all the way down his neck until he reaches the collar of his shirt. Then he goes back up, the kisses a bit rougher this time, and bites down softly, earning a tiny moan. It goes straight to his dick, he can’t lie.

At the thought of it he lowers his hips a bit more so they’re pressing against Eren’s and his lips part as he rubs against him, feeling the lump in the boy’s sweats. He hadn’t noticed before but Eren _totally_ planned for coming to his place; nobody goes out to eat in fucking sweatpants. And it’s cute. It makes him want Eren even more.

The boy whimpers at the contact, bucking his hips upwards and Levi meets the touch, bracing his hips to create friction. This elicits another moan, and Levi smirks at the sound.

“You have a lot to say,” he mutters, grinding his hips downward again as he bites at Eren’s neck some more.

“I always do,” he replies, voice gravelly. “It’s hot, isn’t it?”

Levi rubs down again, forcing a little ‘ah’ sound out of Eren’s mouth, like he’s trying to grind away the cockiness. Still, he replies, “Yeah, really fucking hot.”

“Bite my neck again and there’s more where that came from.”

Levi takes his advice.

He clamps his mouth down just above the boy’s collarbone, sucking roughly and teasing the skin with his teeth. It earns him an _’oh god’_ from Eren’s lips and when he’s satisfied he’s left a mark, he sits back, reaching to tug the boy’s sweatshirt off. It reveals a loose-fitting tee shirt that’s thin enough to hug all the curves of his his body and he grinds against Eren again, feeling his hips press back. This time he’s the one to let out a little moan, leaning back up to kiss him hard. They set something like a pace together, Levi feeling Eren’s erection hot against his own and he reaches down with one hand to grip his hip tightly, fingertips digging into the extra squish there. How’s he so toned yet so soft?

Eren reaches up to return the previous favor, urging Levi’s sweater up over his head, and his hands come to rest on his chest when it’s off. He’s practically fucking gawking, and Levi doesn’t interrupt him, just lets him take his time with a smirk.

“Fuck,” Eren mutters, his soft fingertips tracing the outlines of the man’s muscles. “What the fuck, you didn’t tell me your body was as good as your face.”

“Surprise,” Levi replies, fighting a toothy smile. Somehow compliments from Eren are infinitely better than those from anyone else. 

Before he has the chance to do anything else, Eren’s unzipping his pants and it makes his breath hitch. He looks down at the boy and he just looks so fucking _determined_. “Let me up,” he orders. “I want your cock in my mouth so bad.”

He feels a pang of arousal as he does as he’s told, letting Eren slither out from under him and watching as he sinks down to the floor, shamelessly perching on his knees. Levi takes the hint and moves so he’s sitting upright, one leg on either side of the boy’s body. He’s staring down, and their eyes meet as Eren gets his cock fully out. He watches, lips parted, and breath ragged, as Eren gives it a cautious lick, then sucks the tip lightly into his mouth, which he can’t help letting out a soft moan in response to. He reaches down to place a hand on Eren’s shoulder, digging his fingers in tightly, and suddenly he can’t keep his eyes open as the boy is taking him into his mouth.

He lays his head back, a moan rumbling deep in his throat. “Oh fuck... Jesus, Eren—“

He cuts himself off with another moan as the boy’s head starts bobbing up and down, his mouth so warm and wet and soft. He knew he had been missing out on a lot but _this_...holy shit. The hand on Eren’s shoulder slides up to tangle into his hair, and when he pulls it softly he feels a moan around his cock, which makes him choke out another noise of his own. He’s usually not this vocal, but this has to be the best blowjob he’s ever gotten. Where was this kid his whole life? 

In high school. Right.

He pulls his hair again and earns another low sound, Eren slowly taking him in deeper and deeper with each bob downwards, and when he seems to be satisfied with its position, the boy sucks on his cock, hard.

“Oh my god...” Levi’s eyes are squeezed shut so tight that they almost hurt and he kind of feels like he can’t breathe. He shocks himself when he lets another word fall from his lips. “Baby...”

Obviously Eren is surprised too, because suddenly his motions speed up drastically, mixing his sucking with the movement of his head, and he’s palming himself roughly, so fucking turned on. His mouth is making wet noises and even though Levi would usually think it was gross, right now it’s so fucking hot. He lets out a whimper as Eren pulls off his dick with a loud pop.

He places his hands on Levi’s knees, and when he looks down at him he’s almost taken aback by the look in his eyes. His pupils are dilated and glazed over, like he’s here but not here at the same time. “I want you to fuck me,” he mutters out, his lips still wet from moments ago. And maybe it looks like Levi’s about to refuse, because he tightens his hands on his knees, voice pleading. “ _Please_ , Levi, I want it so fucking bad.”

Okay, fuck it. 

Levi tucks himself back into his underwear but squirms hurriedly out of his jeans, leaving them in a heap next to Eren’s crouched body. He grabs the boy’s hand as he stands up, pulling him to his feet along with him. “Come on,” he says, and leads Eren (against his better, or at least frightened judgement) to his room.

The younger is the first to flop down on the bed, pulling his shirt over his head eagerly and scooting back until he’s up against the pillows. Levi crawls on top of him, his gaze piercing in a way that manages to go straight to Eren’s dick. He immediately envelops the boy’s mouth in a kiss, lips moving roughly and feverishly as he starts grinding down against him like before, in fluid and circular motions. It feels so fucking good on its own and Eren thinks idly that he could probably come just from this if he did it for a while. But he doesn’t get the chance to dwell on it because then Levi’s hands are exploring his chest, squeezing a nipple and making him squeak breathlessly. He pulls back from the kiss to scoot down just enough to start tugging Eren’s sweats down and—

“Nice,” Levi smirks, trying to bite back a laugh. Eren’s not wearing any underwear.

“I- I wasn’t planning for this okay,” he stammers. “I just wanted to be comfy while we ate Chinese food, I didn’t mean to—“

Levi cuts him off with a kiss as he’s pulling down his own underwear. “I’m not complaining. Shut up.”

Eren melts into him again as they make out a little longer, taking his time to enjoy how good the man’s mouth feels on his own. A memory passes his mind fleetingly and he thinks to reach up and stuff his hands into Levi’s hair, giving it a rough tug. The man lets out a low moan against Eren’s mouth, rubbing his hips down again. Suddenly the boy wishes he had pried at the conversation about kinks a little harder, cause it’s nice having an upper hand. Soon, it feels like Levi’s lips are gone too quickly, but then they’re being replaced with two fingers prodding at his mouth. “Suck.”

He does as he’s told, slicking them up with all the same passion he’d shown Levi’s dick before, his eyes closed softly as he bobs his head back and forth. He swirls his tongue around the fingers, trying to get them as wet as possible, and obviously he does a good job because when Levi pulls them back, there’s a string of saliva still connecting them to his mouth. He wipes it away as the man sits back, watching as he positions one finger against him. And then he’s pushing it in, and—

“Ah- fuck yes,” Eren moans, spreading his legs a little wider for him. He’s not even doing anything yet but Eren’s just so turned on and knowing that Levi has a finger inside of him makes his stomach warm with arousal. He tilts his head back as he _does_ start doing something, curling his finger and rubbing it in a beckoning motion. “Ye-es,” he repeats, louder this time.

Levi wastes no time in adding a second finger, curling and scissoring them inside of Eren, and the boy is practically shaking already with the pleasure. He grips onto the bed sheets, letting out a choked noise and whining as he presses them deeper. Then he grazes his prostate and it’s fucking _heaven_ ,and nothing matters anymore, he just starts fucking down onto Levi’s fingers and whining with every breath. His cock is straining against his tummy and he’s only just reaching for it when Levi pulls his fingers out slowly, prompting a soft whimper. He starts stroking himself anyways, watching as Levi leans to dig in the bedside table.

The man holds up a condom questioningly, eyebrow raised, and Eren shakes his head quickly, still tugging at himself languidly. “Fuck no,” he answers. Levi nods and tosses it aside.

He then sets himself to the task of getting lube literally everywhere, rubbing it against Eren’s hole, spreading it generously over his cock, wiping the excess all over Eren’s discarded shirt (thanks), before grabbing the base of his dick and positioning himself. Eren pushes downwards, pressing onto him, and he takes that as the invitation he needs, as if he hasn’t already gotten plenty.

He slides in slowly and Eren locks his legs around the man’s waist, whining at being filled up again. He doesn’t even wait for Levi to stall as he knows he will. He just wraps his arms around his neck, pulling him close to his ear, and whispers, “I’m fine, just make me scream.”

Levi’s getting surprisingly good at doing what he’s told.

He pulls out and then thrusts back in, forcing a squeak out of Eren, then does it again and again, setting a pace and burying his face in the boy’s neck. He moans lowly, Eren choking out little ‘ah’s each time he bucks in.

“You’re so fucking hot,” he mutters against the warm skin in the crook of his shoulder. “Does this feel good?”

“Yeah,” Eren moans out. “Go faster. Fuck.”

He obliges, reaching down to grip the boy’s ass in his hands and lift his hips up to adjust the angle. Obviously it’s the correct choice, because as soon as he thrusts in once like that, Eren throws his head back and arches his back, letting out a whiny cry of pleasure.

“Ohhhh fuck, keep fucking doing that— Levi, oh my god.”

He remembers Eren’s reaction earlier and bites down on his neck, fucking him a little harder as he mutters between soft moans, “Eren...baby...”

Eren moans, the sound of Levi’s low voice in his ear making his stomach coil. He swallows, moving a shaky hand to grab one of Levi’s, and pull it up to his neck, wrapping it under his Adam’s apple. “Please,” he breathes, and Levi tightens his hand around the boy’s throat, knowing that Eren had mentioned liking this sort of thing but still being so shocked and turned on at the complete dominance that was being handed to him.

“Just smack me or something if you need me to stop,” Levibmutters, and Eren nods tightly, the man’s hand constricting the movement.

Then Levi starts pounding into him again, tightening his grip so Eren can do nothing but part his lips, little throaty noises slipping out his mouth with each thrust. He’s fucking him so hard and he can barely get a breath and it’s making him see white at the corners of his eyes, colors dancing in his vision...

Then, as if perfectly timed, Levi lets go, air rushing back into Eren’s lungs as he lets out a loud, pleasured whine. He’s definitely done this before, Eren thinks, but he’ll have to ask him about it later. Because Levi’s hand wraps around his throat again and he holds tight as he fucks into the boy even harder, shaking his whole body upwards and creating creaky noises with the bed that sound distant like the vibrations of Levi’s moans. All he can focus on is the feeling of his dick inside him and the stars in his vision as he’s fucked into submission.

Levi loosens his grip again, watching as Eren takes gasping, whiny breaths, and just leaves his hand loosely around Eren’s throat, liking the feel of his hand there but not wanting to give Eren too much. Right now he just wants to hear his voice.

It takes a few minutes for him to recover his breath, but soon the boy is crying out with basically every thrust, and he’s not sure when he started tugging at his own cock but he is and everything feels so, so good. Levi’s hand around his neck holds his head upright, and he’s close as fuck, he doesn’t want it to be over yet but he knows the orgasm is gonna be so damn good. So he keeps jacking himself off, Levi littering love bites all over his neck next to his own fingers.

He doesn’t have to mention that he’s close to coming, Levi can tell with the way his body is tense and shaky, like he’s holding his breath and constricting every muscle in his body at once. The man mutters it again, “Baby...” and then, “are you gonna come for me?” And before Eren can even formulate a response he feels it happen.

He arches his back and yells out Levi’s name as he comes all over both their chests, shouting _oh god_ ’s and _yes yes yes_ ’s, and he’s rolling his hips and practically seeing white again and for a second it’s so good that he almost feels like he’s gonna die. Then it’s over, and he lays back against the pillows, panting, as Levi pulls out and starts rapidly stroking himself, shooting cum all over his tummy before Eren even has the chance to come down. He’s muttering little strings of, “Eren, baby, baby,” and he can’t remember the last time he’s come this hard, if he ever fucking has at all.

He all but collapses next to the boy, and it’s Eren that hoists himself upright to grab the already-soiled shirt heaped at their feet. He gingerly wipes off Levi’s chest and tummy before following suit on his own, then tosses it to the ground so he can accept the invitation of the man’s outstretched arms, flopping down on his chest.

They’re both quiet for a bit, trying to settle their breathing and heart rates and feel like they can move again. Eren almost wonders if Levi’s fallen asleep when he startles him with his voice.

“Please don’t end up breaking my heart.”

Eren’s a bit taken aback at the words. It just doesn’t sound like something Levi would _say_. He’s usually so matter-of-fact. _I’ve been hurt before, so I hope you don’t hurt me as well_. That’s something Levi would say, not...this. Eren’s never heard him sound so vulnerable.

Levi can obviously sense his surprise because he adds after a moment, “And don’t expect me to ever say anything remotely similar to that again. Just...don’t do that.”

Eren nods, pressing a soft kiss to the man’s chest. “I’m not gonna make you a promise,” he mumbles, “because those always sound so empty. Bert made promises to me and look where that got us. But...I will always have your best interest in mind, Levi. I’ll do everything I can to make you happy.”

“You know what would make me happy right now?”

“Hm?” Eren traces circles on the man’s chest, feeling sleepy but wanting to feel this moment forever.

“If you stayed the night.”

The boy smiles, and he can actually feel Levi’s heart rate accelerate, which does things to him he can’t even describe. “Consider it done, then.”

———

_wya_

_Not dead in a firey car crash this time, just had to stop at the store. Do we need any milk?_

_you don’t_

_Wow. Fuck you._

_sure hurry home and you can_

This is what the majority of their texts look like now, which somehow, to Eren, is bittersweet. Nostalgia pangs anytime that he reads through their conversations, but it’s not that he isn’t satisfied with where they are now. There’s just a lot of memories.

It’s been about a month since he packed up his campus apartment and moved into Levi’s bigger, fancier, _two bathroom_ apartment. He supposes it’s been longer than that since he started integrating his things into the place; pairs of socks, extra clothes, a toothbrush and some textbooks. All his scrolling in their conversations yielded what he had suspected — that today marks a year since they first exchanged numbers.

He’s made huge strides with Levi, as far as earning his trust. He started telling Eren he loved him after about four months of knowing one another, and shortly thereafter agreed to meet Eren’s parents (he had already met Mikasa who had showed up at his door promptly after learning that he and Eren had slept together and threatened his life on the grounds he ever hurt her brother). Barely before that, Levi had stopped hesitating when presented with certain scenarios (hanging out with Eren’s friends, talking about the future, and receiving a promise ring). He knows sometimes Levi is still scared. But there’s never a time that he isn’t able to comfort him out of it. And he likes to think that Levi is finally confident that what they have isn’t fleeting; that it’s something he can hang onto.

He sets his phone down to focus on the TV, watching some documentary that had been in their Netflix watch list. He feels like this is forever, too, he realizes. Like this could easily be the rest of his life.

He looks up as the door clicks open, a smile painting his face as Levi steps in with a handful of grocery bags. “Hey,” he calls, pausing the TV.

“Hey.”


End file.
